精彩笑爆你的英语笑话集锦
妈蛋哪有人这么用香肠的！！！
笑一笑1，十年少，看一些笑话能让我们开心，欢迎欣赏精彩笑爆你的英语笑话大全!
精彩笑爆你的英语笑话大全
Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
嘿，Rosalie?你知道怎样淹死一个金发美女吗?在池塘底部粘上一面镜子 注：美国有不少说金发美女愚蠢的笑话，在池底照镜子被淹死了
精彩笑爆你的英语笑话大全
When they’re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly. “No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting.”
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, “C’mon, Steven, let’s get dirty . ”
我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。” 我刚转身要走，就听我儿子说：“来，斯蒂文，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”
精彩笑爆你的英语笑话大全
A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can't have any honey for two weeks!".
Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can't have any butter for two weeks!".
When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor. The mother ran over and stomped on it. The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?".
一名男子与儿子在公园散步时，一只蜜蜂落在他们附近，小男孩跑过去一脚将它踩住。父亲给儿子上了如何尊重生命的一课，并补充道：“为此你两周都不许吃蜂蜜。”
不一会儿，一只蝴蝶落在他们近旁，男孩子跑过去又一脚踩住蝴蝶。父亲再次给他上了一课并补充道：“为此你两周不许吃黄油(英语中‘蝴蝶’直译为‘黄油飞’)。”
他们回到家后进到厨房，发现地板上有一只蟑螂。母亲跑过去踩死了它。男孩对父亲说：“您要对她说什么吗?还是我来说?”
生活需要笑话，笑话能愉悦我们的心情，欢迎欣赏绝对笑翻你的英语笑话!
绝对笑翻你的.英语笑话
JOY,it\'s timeto go to bed.
joy,该去睡觉了。{妈妈}
ok,Mum.i\'m coming!
哦，这就睡!{joy}
Have a sweet dream,joy.good night!
做个甜甜的梦哦，晚安!{妈妈}
good niggt,Mum!
晚安，妈妈!{joy}
Sweet dream...how?
甜甜的梦。。。。到底怎么才能做个甜甜的梦呢?{joy}
Bingo!
有了!{joy}
joy,wahay are you doing?
the candy will make your teeth ache!
joy,你怎么睡前还吃糖啊!会牙疼的!{妈妈}
(joy,举着糖，看着妈妈。){joy}
But you told me to have a sweet dream...
不是你说要我做个甜甜的美梦的吗。。。{joy}
绝对笑翻你的英语笑话
Witty Hare can run very fast.
机灵的兔子跑得很快。
One day when he gets home. He sees a rat. The rat is jumping down his window.
一天，它回到家的时候看见一只老鼠。这只老鼠正从它家的窗户跳下去。
“Oh. A thief!” Witty Hare shouted and catches the rat, “You can’t run faster then me.”
“啊!贼!”机灵兔子喊着追过去。 “你跑不过我的!”
Soon Witty Hare catches up with the rat, and the rat is left behind.
不一会它追上了老鼠，还把老鼠丢在后面。
“I must run away,” the rat says and laughs, “He is so silly.”
“我得赶紧逃。”老鼠窃笑着说：“这家伙真笨。”
Witty Hare goes on running. A sheep sees him and asks him, “What a re you doing?”
机灵兔子继续跑着。一只绵羊看到了就问它：“你在干什么?”
“I’m catching the thief.” Witty Hare says.
“我在追贼。”机灵兔子说。
“Thief? Where’s the thief?” the sheep fells surprised.
“贼?贼在哪里啊?”绵羊感到奇怪。
“He's behind me,”Witty Hare says proudly.
“它在我后面呢。”机灵兔子自豪地说着。
绝对笑翻你的英语笑话
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'
有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，他说：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’，但是有个人挡住了那个“S”。”
英语笑话既能让我们开心，也能让我们学到英语知识，何乐而不为呢?欢迎欣赏逗出眼泪趣事英语笑话!
逗出眼泪趣事英语笑话
Expiration Date
Before I could start my first job right out of college, I had to present evidence that I was a U.S. citizen, so I brought my birth certificate. The clerk picked up my birth certificate and gave it a good, long look. “Is something wrong?” I finally asked. “Yes,” she said. “I can’t find the expiration date.”
【中文译文】
失效日期
我刚大学毕业找到第一份工作。在正式开始工作以前，我必须提交我是美国公民的证明文件。于是我带去了我的出生证明。那个职员拿起我的出生证明仔仔细细地看。我问：“有什么问题吗?”她说：“是啊，我没找到失效日期。”
逗出眼泪趣事英语笑话
Teacher: Jack, why aren't you listening? CopyRight .
Jack: But, teacher, I'm listening.
Teacher: If you were listening, tell me what I said just now.
Jack: You said, "Jack, why aren't you listening?"
老师：杰克，你为什么不认真听课?
杰克：老师，我正在听课呀!
老师：如果你刚才在听课，那告诉我刚才我说的什么。
杰克：您说的是：“杰克，你为什么不认真听课?”
逗出眼泪趣事英语笑话
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”
“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。
“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”
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