爆舌的英语笑话
啧啧啧，真会做生意
脑筋急转弯是一种体现思维跳动的言语幽默。以下是阳光网小编为大家准备的世界上最难脑筋急转弯，希望大家喜欢!
一天，他和妻子打算乘飞机俯瞰全纽约。
飞行员每次飞行30分钟，每人10美元。吝啬鬼问道：“我们两个人10美元怎么样?”“不行!”飞行员斩钉截铁地回答道。施密特哀求了好一会儿。飞行员看当天生意不好，乘客也少，最终同意了他的'请求。“好吧，你和你太太总共10美元，但条件是，在空中你们不能发出任何声音，如果我听见了你们当中有人出声，那就得付20美元了。”施密特不情愿的答应了。
飞机顺利起飞了，飞机驾驶员在空中翻跟斗，做出各种花样故意吓唬施密特。飞机着陆后，飞行员不解地问道，：“你真是太厉害了，你怎么能一直保持安静呢?”“其实要做到这点真的很难，当我老婆掉下飞机时，我差点就喊出来了。”这个吝啬鬼坦言道。
笑到让人无法忘记的英语笑话篇二
He mead his own lunch 午饭是他自个做的
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on the 30th floor of a building.
The Irishman opened his lunch box and said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed1, "burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch b box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too, the blonde opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping, she says, "if I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!" the Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," She said. "He made his own lunch."
一个爱尔兰人，一个墨西哥人和一个金发男子在一栋楼房的第三十层施工。
爱尔兰人打开饭盒说：“咸牛肉和卷心菜!下次午饭还吃咸牛肉和卷心菜，我就从这楼上跳下去。”
墨西哥人打开饭盒说：“又是玉米煎饼。下次如果还是玉米煎饼，我也跳下去。”
金发人打开饭盒说：“又是大腊肠。下次如果还是大腊肠三明治，我也跳下去。”
第二天，爱尔兰人打开盒饭看到咸牛肉和卷心菜便跳楼死了。墨西哥人打开饭盒看到玉米煎饼也跳了楼，金发人打开饭盒看到大腊肠也跳楼自杀了。
葬礼上，爱尔兰人的妻子在哭泣，她说：“如果我知道他如此讨厌咸牛肉和卷心菜，我决不会再给他吃!”墨西哥人的妻子也在哭泣着说：“我会给他做玉米面豆卷和春卷!我没有发现他是这么不喜欢吃玉米煎饼。”每个人都把目光转向金发男子的妻子并盯着她看。“嘿，别看我，午饭是他自个做的。”她说。
笑到让人无法忘记的英语笑话篇三
I didn't do it 我什么也没做
One day a man came home from work to find total chaos1 in the house. The kids were laying outside in the mud, still in their pajamas2.
When he opened the door, he found an even bigger mess: dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table and a pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys, and a lamp had been knocked over.
He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she might be ill or that something terrible had happened to her.
He found her in the bedroom still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a magazine.
She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day had gone.
He looked at her, bewildered3(困惑的), and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know, every day, you come home from work and ask me what I did today."
"Yes," was his reply.
She answered, "Well, today, I didn't do it!"
一天，一个人下班回到家，发现屋子外面一片狼籍。孩子们还穿着睡衣，满身是泥地躺在外面。
打开房门，他发现屋子里面更乱。橱柜上堆着盘子，地上散落着狗食，桌子下面有一只打碎的玻璃杯，后门旁还有一堆沙子。家庭娱乐室里堆满了玩具，还有一盏灯翻倒在地上。
他迈过散落在楼梯上的玩具，上楼去找他的妻子。他开始担心她生病了或是发生了什么可怕的事情。
他发现她还穿着睡衣躺在床上，在看一本杂志。
她抬头看到他，笑着问他今天过得怎么样。
他看着她，困惑地问：“今天发生什么事情了?”
她笑着问道：“你每天下班回家都会问我今天做什么了。”
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