搞笑的英语笑话

　　超级搞笑的英语笑话篇一

　　汤姆是个小孩

　　Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”

　　汤姆是个小孩， 他才7岁。 当他去电影院的时候。那时他第一次去。他买了张票进去了。 但没过两三分钟他就出来了，然后买了第二张票又进去了。 几分钟后他又出来买了第三张票。 接着两三分钟后他又出来买票。 一个女的问她，“你为什么要买那么多票啊? 你见到了几个朋友?" "没有， 我里面没朋友， 但是每当我进门的'时候一位大的女人老把我的票给剪了"

　　超级搞笑的英语笑话篇二

　　Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?

　　Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

　　一名伟人

　　老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗?

　　学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。

　　超级搞笑的英语笑话篇三

　　There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That’s so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That’s why he’s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I don’t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him ‘The Boss.’”

　　有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。店里有三只鹦鹉，其中一只卖五千元，另一只卖一万元，还有一只卖三万元。顾客问老板：「为什么这只要卖五千元?这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了!」老板说：「因为我有训练他讲话。」顾客又问：「那这只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」老板说：「他除了会说话之外，还会表演一些有趣的动作，好比说跳舞等等，所以才卖这么贵。」顾客接着又问：「那第三只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」老板说：「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌，也没看过他跳舞，什么都没有!不过另外两只叫他：『老板!』」

　　超级搞笑的英语笑话篇四

　　A police officer pulls over a guy who has been weaving in and out of the lanes.

　　有一位警官把一个在车道上穿进穿出，迂回蛇行的男子拦到路边。

　　He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir,I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

　　他走到这名男子的车窗旁边说：“先生，我要你对着这个酒精测试管吹一口气。”

　　The man says,"Sorry officer I can't do that.I am an asthmatic.If I do that I'll have a really badasthma attack."

　　这名男子说：“对不起呀，警官，我不能吹呀。我是个气喘病患者呀。如果我吹的话，我就会真的患很严重的气喘病。”

　　"Ok,fine.I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."

　　“ 好， 好。我要你到警察局进行血液检验。”

　　"I can't do that either.I am a hemophiliac.If I do that,I'll bleed to death."

　　“我也能抽血检验呀。我是个血友病患呀。如果我抽血检验，我就会流血过多而死呀。”

　　"Well ,then we need a urine sample."

　　“嗯，那我们就要你进行尿液检验吧。”

　　"I am sorry officer I can't do that either.I am also a diabetic.If I do that I'll get really low bloodsugar."

　　“对不起呀 ，警官，我也不能验尿呀。我也是一个糖尿病患者呀。如果我验尿的话，我的血糖就真的会变得很低。”

　　"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

　　“好吧，那我要你出来到这边，走这条白线。”

　　"I can't do that,officer."

　　“警官，我办不到呀。”

　　"Why not? "

　　“为什么办不到?”

　　"Because I am too drunk to do that."

　　“因为我喝得太醉了，所以不能那么做呀。”