爆笑英文笑话等

　　笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。小编精心收集了短一点爆笑英文笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

　　短一点爆笑英文笑话篇1

　　I Want Her to go Nuts

　　我要让她发疯

　　Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamondearrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.

　　福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。她告诉那位肖像画家说：“画我带着钻石耳环、钻石项链、祖母绿手镯，还有红宝石垂饰。”

　　But you're not wearing any of those things.

　　“但你现在没带这其中的任何一样饰品。”

　　I know, said Mrs. Flinders. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarryright away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.

　　“我知道。”福林德斯夫人说，“万一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他会立刻再婚。我要让那个女人为寻找这些珠宝而发疯。

　　短一点爆笑英文笑话篇2

　　Three pastors

　　三个牧师的故事

　　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summerstarted I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.

　　三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”

　　Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been hadthe place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.

　　另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”

　　The third said, I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen oneback since!

　　第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的.一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”

　　短一点爆笑英文笑话篇3

　　A preacher is buying a parrot

　　一个传教士在买鹦鹉

　　"Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.

　　“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。

　　"Oh, absolutely. Its a religious parrot." the storekeeper assures him.

　　“哦，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主保证说。

　　"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lordsprayer, and when you pull on the left, he recites the 23rd Psalm."

　　“你看见它腿上的这些细绳了吗?当你拉动右面的这根，它会背诵天主经，当你拉动左面的那根，它会背诵赞美诗”

　　"Wonderful!" says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?

　　“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两条绳子，会发生什么呢?”

　　"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

　　“我会从树干上掉下去的，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。