短笑话英文笑话 笑侃生活,幽默不止一点点
近年来,冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象在网络、杂志上十分盛行。阳光网小编分享关于短笑话英文笑话，希望可以帮助大家!
关于短笑话英文笑话：Face Lift
A woman in her 40's went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob and the effects were wonderful. The woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All of these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: "First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts." She sighed and said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee...."
关于短笑话英文笑话：Counselling Genious
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wifedecided the only way to save their marriage was to try counselling. They had been at each other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counsellor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.
After 5 - - 10 - - 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counsellor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless. He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.
The counsellor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"
The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
关于短笑话英文笑话：Cut-Backs
A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.
"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."
"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."
关于短笑话英文笑话：In A Lift
An old woman is going up in a lift in a very Iavish department store when a young, beautiful woman gets in, smelling of expensive scent. She turns to the old woman and saysarrogantly: 'Romance by Ralph Lauren, £100 a bottle.'
Then another young woman gets in the lift, She also turns to the old woman and says
snootily: chanel No 5, £150 a bottle.' A few floors later, the old woman has reached her destination. As she gets out, she looks both woman in the eye, then turns round, bends over and farts, saying: 'broccoli, 25p a pound.'
关于短笑话英文笑话：Coincidence
A chicken farmer goes into a local tavern, takes a seat at the bar next to a woman, and orders a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" He turns to her and says, "What a coincidence. This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating." "This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating," says the woman. "What a coincidence," says the man. They clink glasses and he asks, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!" "What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile." "That's great," says the woman. "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I switched cocks," he replies. "What a coincidence," she said.1、范伟打天下,咣叽,掉下一影帝!
2、生活单调得像巴普洛夫的狗,日子凄惨得像薛定谔的猫。
3、没有收到客户投诉并不代表所有降落伞都是合格的.。
4、任何一个单位,只要到了开始强调考勤、打卡的时候,一定是它走下坡路的时候!
5、今天刚学了几个薪成语相由薪生,提薪吊胆,薪薪相印,丧薪病狂,哀大莫过于薪死。--何以解忧,唯有暴富
6、脸大到底有什么好处呢? 1.自拍的时候特别容易对焦; 2.拍集体合照时,特别突出,特别占便宜; 3.会被人夸赞:真给你爸妈长脸; 4.找个脸大的女朋友,可以亲一天啊; 5.不给任何人有想一巴掌拍死我的机会; 6.别人的脸那叫脸,而我们的脸那可是叫“脸plus”。
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