经典英语短笑话集

　　经典英语短笑话：job interview

　　An engineer, a physicist1, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?"

　　The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four."

　　The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After aconsultation2 with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four."

　　The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?"

　　经典英语短笑话：Milk

　　There were three guys hitchiking along the roads of a plain, boring field because their car overheated from the long drive. Exhausted, hungry, and thirsty from the long walk, they weredesperately willing to stay over anywhere. Fortunately, they saw about a mile ahead of them a cow ranch, filled with hundreds of cows. They decided to stay there for the night. So they looked for the main office to ask the ranch owner if they could stay for the night. However, the ranch owner left for the day and no one was there. Too tired from their journey, they decided rather to sleep with the cows than walk forever. They each slept under a cow.

　　One guy said, "I'm hungry and thirsty, what will we eat and drink?"

　　Another guy suggested to drink the milk from the cow since they were lying beneath the milk sac. So they began to suck and drink.

　　The first guy said, "My cow's milk is so good, I finished it all and now I'm full."

　　The second guy said, "My cow's milk is so good, I finished it all and now I'm full."

　　The third guy said, "My cow's milk doesn't taste quite right."

　　The first and second guy then said to the third guy, "Well, try another nipple, that one probably has no more milk."

　　The third guy in a confused state exclaimed, "But how come my cow has only one, long, nipple!?"

　　经典英语短笑话：Like a Straw

　　There were these two not so bright guys who had to get across the desert. Since they didn't have enough money for a car they decided to buy a camel.

　　The camel dealer promised them that the camel would get them across the desert if they made sure he was full of water before they left. They took the camel down to the water hole, but the camel would not drink. So finally the first guy says: "I have an idea, why don't I hold his head down in the water and you suck on his butt. That way the water will be drawn up into him like a straw." The second gut thought about this for a while and finally agreed.

　　After a while the first guy asks "Well is it working?"

　　The second guy replied "I think it is going to work, but you have to pick his head up just a little because I'm just getting mud."