简易英语小笑话

　　在人们的日常生活及交往当中，笑话无处不在。下面是阳光网小编带来的简单易懂的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!

在家自己做，省钱又省事！

　　简单易懂的英语小笑话精选

　　I've Just Bitten My Tongue

　　"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

　　"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

　　"Because I've just bitten my tongue! "

　　我刚咬破自己的舌头

　　“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

　　“是的，宝贝”，她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”

　　“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

　　简单易懂的英语小笑话阅读

　　Coffee Problem

　　A man was at the doctor's office. "Every time I drink a cup of coffee, Doctor, I have astabbing pain in my right eye. What should I do?" he asked .

　　"Take the spoon out of your cup. " answered the doctor.

　　咖啡问题

　　一位男子来到医生的办公室。“医生，每次我喝咖啡，我的右眼都有刺痛感。您说我该怎么办?”他问道。

　　“把勺子从咖啡杯里拿出来。”医生回答说。

　　简单易懂的英语小笑话学习

　　耍花招 Playing A Trick

　　A man handed a pair of slacks to the department-store clerk. "I'd like these altered, please,"he said. The clerk asked for the sales receipt, but after searching his pockets, the man repliedhe had lost it. The clerk informed him that it was store policy to do free alterations without areceipt.

　　"Okay, then, " the man said, "I'd I like to return the slacks. clerk processed the return andgave him cash equaling the cost of the slacks.

　　The man pushed the money back across the counter. "Now I want to buy the slacks, " hesaid. The clerk rang up the sale, bagged the slacks and handed them to him with a receipt.

　　Triumphantly, he put the slacks and the receipt on the counter. "I'd like to have thesealtered, please."

　　花招

　　一位男子把一条宽松裤递给百货商店职员。“我想换一条。”他说。店员向他要售货收据。这位男子翻遍了他的口袋，最后只得说收据丢了。店员告诉他说没有收据不准随意更换，这是商店的规章。

　　“那好吧，”这位男子说，“我要把这条裤子退掉。”店员按程序办理了退货手续并把等于裤子价格的现金给了他。

　　这位男子把钱从柜台上推回去。“现在我还要这条裤子，”他说。店员用收银机收下了钱，把那条裤子装进包里，并把它们连同收据递给了他。

　　这男子终于以胜利者的姿态把裤子和收据放在柜台上，说：“我要把这条裤子换了。”

　　简单易懂的英语小笑话欣赏

　　The Big Baby

　　"You'll have to take care of the baby today," a woman told her husband . " I'm not feeling well."

　　"Then you must stay in bed and rest, dear. " her husband said. "I'll be pleased to look after our baby. "

　　"Thank you. I'll have a quiet day and I'll soon get better. " his wife told him.

　　"Shall I do the shopping for you as well?" her husband asked.

　　She was very pleased and said, "That will help me very much. I'll give you a list of things to buy. "

　　She wrote out the list and gave it to him.

　　"You can get all these things at the supermarket," she said.

　　"You can put the baby in the shopping cart, then you won't have to leave him outside."

　　The man took the baby to the supermarket and put him in the shopping cart. Then he pushed the shopping cart along the rows of things to buy and looked for those that were on his list.

　　At first all was well, but then the baby began to cry.

　　Then he started to scream.

　　And scream!

　　And SCREAM!

　　"Keep calm ,George, " the man said. "Don't get excited. Don't shout, George. Don't lose your temper, George.

　　A woman in the supermarket heard him saying these things. She walked up to him.

　　"I think you are wonderful," she said. "You are so patient with your little George. "

　　"Madam, " the man said, "I'm George. He's Edward.

　　大婴儿

　　“今天你得照看孩子，”女人对丈夫说，“我身体不舒服。”

　　“亲爱的.，那你呆在床上休息，”丈夫说，“我很高兴照顾我们的孩子。”

　　“谢谢。今天我将清静一下了，我很快就会好点的。”

　　“我为你去买东西，好吗?”

　　她很高兴地说：“这帮我很大忙呢。我给你列个要买的东西的单子。”

　　她列好单子，递给他。

　　“在超级市场你能买到这些东西，”她说。

　　“你把孩子放在购物手推车里，就不用把孩子留在外面了。”

　　男人带着孩子到超市，把他放在推车里。然后推着车子沿着货架走，寻找单子列出的东西。

　　开始一切都进行得很顺利，接着孩子开始哭起来。

　　然后孩子开始尖声喊叫。

　　尖叫。

　　又尖叫。

　　“保持镇静，乔治，”男人说，“不要冲动。不要喊叫，乔治。不要发脾气，乔治。”

　　一个女人在超市听到他说的这些话。她走到他跟前。

　　“我觉得你真不错，“她说，”你对你的小乔治真有耐心。”

　　“夫人，”男人说，“我是乔治，他是爱德华。”