英语笑话经典集锦2017
英语笑话经典集锦(一)
Once there was a scholar who was very poor，but was very much concerned with his reputation. One evening，a thief broke into the scholar’s house，but he could find nothing worth stealing. So he said，"What bad lucky Ihave hit upon a real beggars”Hearing this，the scholar fished out little money he had from his bed head，and went after the thief. He stopped the thief and whispered to him，"You come at a most inopportune time. Would you please make do with this little money2 But for Heaven’s sake don’t talk about it in front of anyone else.By all means leave me a little face，eh?”
从前有个读书人家里很穷，却很爱面子。一天晚上，小偷到他家来行窃，却没有东西值得一偷，就说:“晦气，我算碰到真正的穷鬼了!”读书人听见了，就从床头摸出仅有的几文钱，追上去拦住小偷，轻轻地说:“你来得真不巧。请将就些把这些钱拿去。不过在人家面前，你可千万不要随便说，给我留点面子啊。”
英语笑话经典集锦(二)
One open hummer turn a corner to meet acquaintances, chat.
When a guy says: "the elder brothers, to drive forward, narrow road, a corner to my car."
Open hummer says scornfully: "what car you drive not to, wait a minute."
Men spoke a few times, hummer owner did not move.
Guy a little bit angry said: "don't move is! A moment touch bad don't call ah!"
Then go, hummer owner and his friend also said: "what car and don't touch me."
Just then, his friend looked up, said: "you still let! He came over."
Hummer owners turned a look, oh! Get on the bus go right away.
Just behind the man in the call: "you are not afraid of touch? Don't go!"
Hummer owner: "you didn't say you open the digger!"
一人开悍马到拐弯出碰到熟人，下车聊天。
这时过来一男的说：“哥们，车朝前开开，拐弯路窄，我车过不来。”
开悍马车不屑的说：“你开什么车过不来，等一会。”
男的`说了几次，悍马车主就是不动。
男的有点生气说：“不动是吧!一会碰坏了别叫呀!”
然后走了，悍马车主还和他朋友说：“什么车能和我别碰。”
正说着，他朋友抬头一看说：“你还是让让吧!他开过来了。”
悍马车主转身一看，哎呀!马上上车就走。
刚才那男的在后面叫：“你不是不怕碰吗?别走呀!”
悍马车主：“你也没说你开的挖掘机呀!”
英语笑话经典集锦(三)
"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”
“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。"我想让你坦率地告诉我，我到底得了什么病。"
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l've just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, l'm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."
他从头到脚打量了她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅;第二，如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的相貌将会变美。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”
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