风趣的幽默英语故事
幽默故事，能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑，得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面阳光网小编为大家带来风趣幽默的英语故事三则，欢迎大家阅读!
风趣幽默英语故事：好消息
Halfway between New York City and Washington, D.C.,]the train's engine fell silent.
在纽约至华盛顿的半路上，火车的引擎突然没声儿了。
"I've got good news and bad news," the conductor announced.
“我有好消息和坏消息宣布”列车长通过广播说。
"The bad news is we lost power."My fellow passengers groaned.
“坏消息是我们失去动力了” 同车的乘客们不禁抱怨了起来。
"The good news,"he added, "is we weren't cruising at 30,000 feet."
“至于好消息”，他补充说，“是我们没有在3万英尺上巡航”。
风趣幽默英语故事：孩子是自己的好
Three Catholic women and an old Jewish lady were having coffee.
三个信奉天主教的妇女和一个犹太老妇人在一起喝咖啡。
The first Catholic woman tells her friends,"My son is a priest.When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'".
第一个妇女对她的朋友们说，“我儿子是一个牧师。每当他走进房间，人们总是称呼他神父”。
The second woman chirps, "My son is a bishop.Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'".
第二个妇女唧唧喳喳地说：“我的儿子是一名主教。每当他走进房间时，人们都尊称他大人”。
The third woman says, "My son is a cardinal.Whenever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'".
第三个妇女说：“我的儿子是一名红衣主教。每当他走进房间时，人们都恭敬地称他阁下”。
As the old little Jewish lady sips her coffee in silence,the first three give her a subtle "Well...?"look.
这时那位身材瘦小的犹太老妇人默默地喝着她的咖啡，那三个妇女一起用微妙的`眼神看着她，
So she says: "My son is 6'5; he has broad,square shoulders and is very muscular; he's terribly handsome.
意思是：“你儿子呢?” 于是她说，“我儿子身高六英尺五英寸，肩膀宽阔，肌肉发达，他长得非常英俊。
He has beautiful hair, dresses very well and always smells wonderful.Whenever he walks into a room, women say 'Oh, my God!'
他的头发很漂亮，衣着讲究，而且身上总是散发着一股令人心旷神怡的芳香。每当他走进房间时，女人们都会说，“哦，我的上帝呀!”
风趣幽默英语故事：他爱吃巧克力块曲奇
An old man was laying on his death bed.
老人躺在床上，
He had only hours to live when he suddenly smelled chocolate chip cookies.
只能再活几个小时了。突然，他闻到了巧克力块曲奇的味道，
He loved chocolate chip cookies more than anything else in the world.
他最爱吃这种饼干了。
With his last bit of energy, he pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, and to the stairs.
用他最后一点力气，老人翻下床，爬到楼梯那，下楼到了厨房。
Then down the stairs and into the kitchen. There his wife was baking chocolate chip cookies.
他老伴正在做巧克力块曲奇。
As he reached for one, he got SMACKED across the back of his hand by the wooden spoon his wife was holding.
他拿了一块，这时手背被他老伴用木勺打了一下，
"Leave them alone!" she said, "They're for the funeral!"
“放下，”她说，“这是葬礼上用的!”
1、有个人在山上口渴难忍,去一农夫家讨水,农夫说家里没有半点水,这个人只好下山去,等走到半山腰,听见农夫在山顶喊他,回头一瞧,农夫手里举着一个水罐,便又气喘吁吁地爬上山顶,他好不容易爬到山顶,心想这下有水喝了,谁知,农夫把水罐底朝天,口朝下,说道:你走后,我想你肯定说我骗你,
不信你看,确实没水,不骗你吧
2、一个流浪汉在一家旅馆外面敲门,旅馆的名字叫“乔治和母老虎”,他问开门的女人:你能不能赏碗饭给我这个可怜的人? 女人大声说:不能 几秒钟后,流浪汉再次敲门,同样是那个女人开门。 那个女人大声喊道:滚开,你这个没用的东西,以后永远不要来了。 几分钟后,流浪汉又去敲门,开门的还是那个女人,流浪汉说:对不起,这一次,我能不能和乔治说话?
3、两个猎人拖着他们的猎物——一头死鹿到他们的卡车那边去,另一个猎人独自拖着他的猎物走,“嗨,”那个单独的猎人说,“我不想对你们指手画脚,但是如果你们拖鹿的那一头,会好拖一些,因为那样鹿角就不会戳到泥土里边了。”当那个猎人走远之后,这两个猎人决定试试他的建议,过了一会儿之后,其中一个对另一个说:“咱也学了一次精明,那家伙是对的,拖鹿的这一头好拖一些。” “没错,”另一个补充道,“但是我们离我们的卡车更远了”
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