中英双语趣味幽默笑话
情侣间的情趣游戏！好可怕哦还好我是单身狗
趣味幽默笑话：情书
Jenny Cordon was a very kind and beautiful woman and before she married, many men were in love with her. Many of them wrote to her, telling her how wonderful she was, how much they loved her and wanted to marry her.
珍尼·戈登是个温柔优雅的女人，在她结婚以前有许多男人追求过她。他们给她写情书，夸赞她的美貌，表述自己是多么的爱她并且期望着她能够嫁给他
Jenny kept all these letters. She tied them up with a red ribbon and put them away in an old box. She never looked at them as she was happily married，however, they were a part of her life and she did not want to throw them away.
珍尼收藏 着所有的情书。她用了一条红色的丝带把那些信件系好，放在了一个旧盒子里面。自从她有了完美的婚姻以后她就再也没有打开过那些信件。然而，那毕竟是她生命中所渡过的一段美妙的时光，所以她并不打算把那些信件给扔掉。
Jenny had a daughter, Sue. Sue was six.
珍尼有一个女儿叫苏，苏今年六岁了。
One day, Jenny had to leave Sue alone for half an hour.
一天，珍尼有事，要把苏独自留在家中半个小时。
"Now be a good girl,” she said. “Play quietly. If you need anything, go to the lady next door.”
“要做个乖孩子啊!”她说:“好好玩吧，如果需要什么就去找邻家的`阿姨。”
When she returned home, she asked Sue，“Have you been a good girl?"
当她办完事情回到家中，她问苏:“有没有做个乖孩子啊?”
"Oh , yes，Mommy ,”Sue said.
“当然了，妈妈。”苏答道。
"What did you do while I was out?" Jenny asked her.
“我不在家的时候你都干什么了?”珍尼问她。
"I played mailman” Sue told her.
“我假扮邮递员做游戏 。”苏说。
"How could you play mailman, darling?" Jenny asked. "You didn't have any letters.”
“亲爱的，你怎么扮邮递员?”珍追问到:“你又没有信!”
"Oh, yes I did, Mommy，”Sue said: "I found some in an old box upstairs. They were tied up with a red ribbon. I put one in every mailbox in the street. Wasn't I a good girl?"
“噢，我有，妈妈。”苏说:“我在楼上的旧盒子里面找到了好多信，信上还用红色的丝带系着呢!我把这些信分别放在街上每家的邮箱里了，你说我是不是个乖孩子?”
趣味幽默笑话：过分的恭维
When I was 28，I was teaching English to high school freshmen in a schools where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down.
28岁那年，我在一所高中教一年级学生英语 。这所学校允许教职员工有时不必穿得那么正式。
One of those days, I donned a sweatshirt and slacks. A student came in and his eyes widened.
一天，我穿了一件运动衫和一条休闲裤。一个学生进来看见后，看着我瞪大了眼睛。
"Wow!” He exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that everyday. You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger”
“哇哦!”他大呼小叫地说:“你该天天都这么穿。你看上去足足年轻了20岁，甚至30岁呢!”
趣味幽默笑话：行人和斧子
Two men were traveling along the same road. When one of them, picking up a hatchet, cried:
有两个人在同一条路上走，其中一个捡到了一把斧子，于是叫了起来:
"See what I have found!”
“瞧我发现的东西!”
"Do not say I,” said the other, "but we have found.”
“不要说‘我”，另一个人说，“该说‘我们’发现的。”
After a while up came the man who lost it, and accused he was a theft.
过了一会儿，那个丢了斧子的人来了，指责拿着斧子的人偷了他的斧子。
"Alas,” said he to his companion, "we are undone!”
“哎呀，”他对他的伙伴说，“这回我们完了!”
“Do not say we,” replied the other, "but, I am undone; for he that will not allow his friend to share the prize must not expect him to share the danger.”
“不要说‘我们’，”另一个人回答说，“该说‘我’完了。一个人不能与朋友分享所得，就不该指望与别人分担风险。”
趣味幽默笑话：人尽其才
little boy bustled into a grocery one day with a memorandum in his hand.
一天，一个小男孩匆匆忙忙地走进了一家杂货店，手里拿着一张清单。
"Hello, Mr. Smith,” He said. “I want thirteen pounds of coffee at 32 cents.”
“史密斯先生，你好。”他说道:“三毛二分钱一磅的咖啡，请给我十三磅。”
"Very good,” said the grocer, and he noted down the sale.
“好的。”杂货店老板马上把这笔生意记了下来。
"Anything e1se, Charlie?"
“还要别的什么不，查理?”
"Yes. Twenty一seven pounds of sugar at 9 cents.”
“要的。再要二十七磅糖，九分钱一磅的。”
"The loaf, eh? And what else?"
“面包要不要?还要什么?”
"Seven and a half pounds of bacon at 20 cents.”
“七磅半咸肉，二毛钱一磅的。”
"That will be a good brand. Go on.”
这肉是名牌呢。还有吗?”
"Five pounds of tea at 90 cents; eleven and a half quarts of molasses at 8 cents a pint; two eight一pound hams at 21 cents, and five dozen jars of pickled walnuts at 24 cents a jar.”
“九毛钱一磅的茶叶，给我五磅;八分钱一品脱的糖浆要十一夸脱半;二毛一分钱的八磅大火腿要两只，二毛四分钱一罐的腌核桃要五打。”
The grocer made out the bill.
杂货店老板把帐单算了出来。
"It’s a big order,” he said. "Did your mother tell you to pay for it?"
“你买了很多东西，”他说:“你妈妈叫你现在把钱付清吗?”
"My mother,” said the boy, as he pocketed the neat and accurate bill, "has nothing to do with this business. It is my arithmetic lesson and I had to get it done somehow.”
小男孩一面把那清楚准确的账单放进口袋一面说:“这和我妈没关系，这是我自己的算术作业，我总得想办法 把它做出来!”
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