爆笑简短的英文笑话

 

  　爆笑简短的英文笑话：After being away on business

　　Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

　　"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics(化妆品) clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.

　　"That's a bit much,"said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

　　"That's still quite a bit,"Tim complained.

　　Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

　　"What I mean,"said Tim,"is I'd like to see something really cheap."

　　The clerk handed him a mirror.

　　爆笑简短的英文笑话：My Husband Will Be Home Soon

　　A married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested that he shave his beard.

　　Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.

　　James replied, My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!

　　Oh please, the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

　　Oh really, I can't, he replies...My wife loves this beard!

　　The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

　　The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies, Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!

　　一个已婚男人去拜访他的女朋友时，女朋友要求他剃去胡须。

　　噢，詹姆斯，我喜欢你的胡子，但我更喜欢看到你英俊的面孔。

　　詹姆斯回答说，我的妻子喜欢我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否则她会杀了我的'。

　　噢，我求你了，女朋友用一种低沉的、性感的声音又一次说道。

　　可是，我不能，他回答道，我的妻子喜欢这胡子。

　　在女朋友再三请求下，他终于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡时，詹姆斯爬上了床。

　　妻子朦朦胧胧地摸了摸他的脸说道，噢，迈克尔，你不应该在这里，我的丈夫很快就要回来了。

　　爆笑简短的英文笑话：Twenty-one Forever “妙”龄证人

　　In court a judge asked the witness, "How old are you? I mean, really, how old are you? And remember, you're under oath(宣誓) so tell the truth."

　　The woman replied, "I'm twenty one and some months."

　　The judge said, "Be specific: how many months?"

　　So she said, "One hundred and eighteen months."

　　庭上的法官问证人：“多大了?我的意思是，真实年龄是多少?别忘了刚才已经宣誓过，所以请诚实作答”

　　这位女士回答：“我是二十一岁又几个月。”

　　法官说：“要讲精确，到底是多少个月?”

　　她回答：“一百一十八个月!”

　　爆笑简短的英文笑话：No Pen But A Pistol

　　A lady and her son whom was about 10 years old came to buy pond fish from me one day. After I packed her favourite fish, I needed to write down the price label then stuck it on the fish bag, but I couldn’t find a pen at that moment.

　　"Did you have a pen?" I asked the lady.

　　"I am afraid not." She opened her hand bag and put her right hand inside to try and find one.

　　I waited and looked at her, her son did the same as me.

　　In a minute, she suddenly and a little loudly said:

　　"I have no pen but I have a pistol." she liked an actress took a pistol out and pointedit at me, I hadn’t reacted yet.

　　"It’s my toy pistol!" Her son loudly shouted to her.

　　爆笑简短的英文笑话：Modern lief 现代生活

　　Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands' faults.

　　We've been married fifteen years, one woman said, and every night after dinner my husband always complains about the food.

　　How terrible! exclaimed the other. Does it bother you?

　　Why should it bother me? her friend replied. if he can't only stand his own cooking?

　　两个老朋友分别多年之后又见面了，很快就开始谈起各自丈夫的缺点。

　　我们结婚十五年了，一个妇女说道，每天晚饭后，我丈夫总要抱怨饭菜。

　　真可恶!另一个惊呼道。难道你不烦吗?